Saturday 1 October 2016

Wither distant relationships?
By chukwudi Anagbogu (08063305177)
www.facebook.com/chuuchuu

Keeping distant relationships has been in vogue from time immemorial. From married couples to 'hit and run' couples, the list of those in it is endless.

The difficult economic situation has made it seemingly inevitable for lots of couples, especially the males to stay far from their spouses and families in the case of married couples. It is very difficult to secure high-paying jobs anywhere today, irrespective of your academic qualifications. Therefore when one manages to secure one, one jumps at it without considering the proximity of the job location to one's place of abode. Many couples stay from months to years without setting their eyes on each other!

The coming of ICT and GSM has made communication easier quite all right, but remember that "out of sight is out of mind. " That you call your spouse ten times a day or chat with him/her on all the social media every second cannot be a substitute for physical presence.

One needs one's partner around, if not every time at least within short intervals. The frustration at having your matrimonial bed all to yourself from day to day is unquantifiable, particularly when you are ill or emotionally needy. Phone calls or social networking cannot comfort, hug and of course make love to you when the need arises (no one is statue.)

More so, a lot if children are morally and academically bankrupt because of the absence of either of the parents, mostly fathers. Children are best raised in homes where both parents are available.

Money is not everything. It is important for couples to work out modalities that will see them spend more time with themselves. In a case where either of them does a job that makes occasional transfers inevitable, the other should sacrifice his or her own job and make sure they are together. A troubled relationship will make nonsense of all your "moneymaking."

However strong the trust you have for your spouse, the less you see the fellow, the less the bond. Suspicions will crop up. Accusations and counter-accusations will become the order of the day. As a man, wherever you wish to relocate to, if there's no provision to bring your family over, do not go ahead with the relocation!

On a lighter note ,I don't believe in "courtship in absentia." A lot of people 'in love' have not really met their "lovers"  in real life.  Some meet and even court in the social media. That one is a story for another day.

As it is said in some places,  "it is who that is seen that is remembered." What your spouse needs most is your physical presence and attention. So, if you are desirous of having a blissful union, do not contemplate engaging in a distant relationship, else it won't be long before your eyes open!
We shall be getting you series of commonly misused words in English. In this debut publication, we have 20 misused words and their correct usage.


We’re all tempted to use words that we’re not too familiar with. If this were the only problem, I wouldn’t have much to write about. That’s because we’re cautious with words we’re unsure of and, thus, they don’t create much of an issue for us. It’s the words that we think we’re using correctly that wreak the most havoc. We throw them around in meetings, e-mails and important documents (such as resumes and client reports), and they land, like fingernails across a chalkboard, on everyone who has to hear or read them. We’re all guilty of this from time to time, myself included.
When I write, I hire an editor who is an expert in grammar to review my articles before I post them online. It’s bad enough to have a roomful of people witness your blunder—it’s something else entirely to stumble in front of 100,000! The point is, we can all benefit from opportunities to sharpen the saw and minimize our mistakes. Often, it’s the words we perceive as being more correct or sophisticated that don’t really mean what we think they do. There are 20 such words that have a tendency to make even really smart people stumble.
Have a look to see which of these commonly confused words throw you off.

Accept vs. Except

These two words sound similar but have very different meanings. Accept means to receive something willingly: “His momaccepted his explanation” or “Sheaccepted the gift graciously.” Exceptsignifies exclusion: “I can attend every meeting except the one next week.” To help you remember, note that bothexcept and exclusion begin with ex.

Affect vs. Effect

To make these words even more confusing than they already are, both can be used as either a noun or a verb. Let’s start with the verbs. Affect means to influence something or someone; effectmeans to accomplish something. “Your job was affected by the organizational restructuring” but “These changes will be effected on Monday.” As a noun, aneffect is the result of something: “The sunny weather had a huge effect on sales.” It’s almost always the right choice because the noun affect refers to an emotional state and is rarely used outside of psychological circles: “The patient’s affect was flat.”

Lie vs. Lay

We’re all pretty clear on the lie that means an untruth. It’s the other usage that trips us up. Lie also means to recline: “Why don’t you lie down and rest?” Lay requires an object: “Lay the book on the table.” Lie is something you can do by yourself, but you need an object to lay. It’s more confusing in the past tense. The past tense of lie is—you guessed it—lay: “I lay down for an hour last night.” And the past tense of lay is laid: “I laid the book on the table.”

Bring vs. Take

Bring and take both describe transporting something or someone from one place to another, but the correct usage depends on the speaker’s point of view. Somebody bringssomething to you, but you take it to somewhere else: “Bring me the mail, then take your shoes to your room.” Just remember, if the movement is toward you, use bring; if the movement is away from you, use take.

Ironic vs. Coincidental

A lot of people get this wrong. If you break your leg the day before a ski trip, that’s not ironic—it’s coincidental (and bad luck). Ironic has several meanings, all of which include some type of reversal of what was expected. Verbal irony is when a person says one thing but clearly means another. Situational irony is when a result is the opposite of what was expected. O. Henry was a master of situational irony. In his famous short story The Gift of the Magi, Jim sells his watch to buy combs for his wife’s hair, and she sells her hair to buy a chain for Jim’s watch. Each character sold something precious to buy a gift for the other, but those gifts were intended for what the other person sold. That is true irony. If you break your leg the day before a ski trip, that’s coincidental. If you drive up to the mountains to ski, and there was more snow back at your house, that’s ironic.

Imply vs. Infer

To imply means to suggest something without saying it outright. To infermeans to draw a conclusion from what someone else implies. As a general rule, the speaker/writer implies, and the listener/reader infers.

Nauseous vs. Nauseated

Nauseous has been misused so often that the incorrect usage is accepted in some circles. Still, it’s important to note the difference. Nauseous means causing nausea; nauseated means experiencing nausea. So, if your circle includes ultra-particular grammar sticklers, never say “I’m nauseous” unless you want them to be snickering behind your back.

Comprise vs. Compose

These are two of the most commonly misused words in the English language.Comprise means to include;compose means to make up. It all comes down to parts versus the whole. When you use comprise, you put the whole first: “A soccer game comprises (includes) two halves.” When you use compose, you put the pieces first: “Fifty states compose(make up) the United States of America.”

Farther vs. Further

Farther refers to physical distance, whilefurther describes the degree or extent of an action or situation. “I can’t run anyfarther,” but “I have nothing further to say.” If you can substitute “more” or “additional,” use further.

Fewer vs. Less

Use fewer when you’re referring to separate items that can be counted; useless when referring to a whole: “You havefewer dollars, but less money.”

Bringing it all together

English grammar can be tricky, and, a lot of times, the words that sound right are actually wrong. With words such as those listed above, you just have to memorize the rules so that when you are about to use them, you’ll catch yourself in the act and know for certain that you’ve written or said the right one.
(c) Travis Bradberry, June 2015

To be continued